Yet again

I stare at this blank space wishing I knew what to write.

It's not like there's nothing on my mind, because there is everything on my mind pretty much at all times. I made a blog to rant, and I really want to, but I feel like sometimes there is stuff I don't want to talk about even to my blog. So this is the current situation:

Yays:

- Booking Pirate Ship tattoo for June
- Getting my car fixed.
- Tillie Sparkle
- Friday.
- Thinking of America.
- The new dress I got last weekend.
- Saw John Mayer on Tuesday. Rad.

Nays:

- Constantly thinking about ex bf and his current love and new baby. God, I miss him so much.
- Listening to music that encourages thoughts of this, but I like to think it makes me feel better.
- Having to spend money to fix my car.
- Getting a cold
- Being late for work
- Meeting guys in bars. Yup, it's a nay.
- Money - as always, as is for most people.
- Missing Auckland very much
- Having offensive stuff posted all over Facebook about me. Super upset about the immaturity of some people tbh.
- Feeling like I can't be myself.

Concentrating on yays though. Really wish I'd faked a sickie today.

I wish there was an over-the-counter test for loneliness, for loneliness like this...
Cos I can't wait to figure out what's wrong with me so I can say this is the way that I used to be. There's no substitute for time.
Thanks John Mayer x

Stop asking "Why?". Start asking "Why Not?"

Tattoos of the beautiful Dallas Green (mmmmmmmmmm)
found here

My parents are sitting in the lounge, in silence. Dad is on his laptop, Mum is reading the paper. This is a normal thing for a Sunday afternoon in our house, which I think shows my parents' personalities to a tee. They are reserved and quiet but curious, so they seek information from the outside world.

I showed my Dad the picture above - describing Dallas's work as "beautiful" - to which Dad snapped:

"No, it isn't. It's repulsive and disgusting. In my day, only convicts and bikers had tattoos. No one who matters in society has tattoos."

So I don't matter to society, Dad?

I normally drop the tattoo conversation as soon as it begins with my parents (more specifically my Dad) as they seem to have strong negative views on this art-form. It makes me really upset because I love tattoos so much.

That brings me to beginning the "Why Not?" movement.

The "Why not?" Excitement list:

1. Tattoo gun.

I saw a tattoo gun on trademe (The local ebay/craigslist for New Zealand). I've been quite curious for a while now, so with a little encouragement from my Natalie (bffl), I decided "Why not?" and purchased. I will update on the situation when my parcel is delivered to my bffl's house and I have a play. There was no way I would be able to get that bad boy delivered to my house. My parent's would FLIP. Oh well, they should start thinking "Why not?" also.

2. Nannies Abroad.

My beautiful best friend Natalie and I have decided we want to go to the USA as an Au Pair - a nanny. There are soooo many families looking to take on international nannies that it seemed like a logical choice. The ads are attractive so I've started asking my friends who have children if I can babysit their babies to get some more experience. I told my Mum and Dad about it and Dad was quick to tell me all the reasons why I shouldn't go, but Mum informs me it's because Dad doesn't want me to leave. That's sweet, Daddy, but time to realise I'm almost 21 - ready to start an amazing adventure!

So, next time you have an important decision to make, take a step back and think "Why not?". I've decided I'm a quality-of-life type of person, wanting to make myself as happy as possible so it's about time I got optimistic and started going for what I want.

Yes. xo